It’s About the Process, Not the Destination /// By: Lea Young

A week ago, I came across a post from Piet Wilhelm, black belt and owner of Triton Fight Center in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. It said: “Don’t get a black belt, be a Black Belt. It’s a never-ending process, not a destination.”

These words resonated with me for a long time as I reflected on not only my jiu-jitsu journey, but also the impact left on me by black belts that I’ve met along the way. It made me think back to when I started training and how much I’ve changed and how much jiu-jitsu has changed my life for the better.

With Bryant Pangelinan, James "300" Foster, Kurt Osiander, Piet Wilhelm

I first learned about jiu-jitsu when I started kickboxing in 2004. I just graduated with my Masters’ Degree and finally had free time. The academy that I trained at had a great MMA program, which wasn’t nearly as popular as the sport is nowadays. It was at that time that I was introduced to jiu-jitsu and to be honest, I didn’t like it. I preferred hitting things instead of rolling around with a bunch of sweaty dudes. I thought that by being able to hit things, I was more powerful. After years of training standup, I finally committed to the gentle art in 2010 after takedowns and wrestling were incorporated into our standup classes and I began to feel more comfortable training on the ground. I started to feel empowered being able to do chokes and submissions.  

Back then, I had no idea how jiu-jitsu would change my life. As a newbie white belt, I was more concerned about “getting it” and keeping up with my training partners then actually trying to build a solid foundation without my ego getting in the way. At that time, the black belt that I had been training under was well-respected and had trained notable fighters. But I felt that something was missing… even though I wasn’t sure what it was. 

Six months later, I left for Brazil by myself and my whole world changed. I spent the majority of my time training, learning Portuguese, and falling in love with the sport and just about everything about Brazil. It was at that time that I realized that jiu-jitsu wasn’t just a sport, it was a lifestyle. I became inspired…. something that I hadn’t felt before because I was too concerned trying to “get” jiu-jitsu and keep up. When I returned from vacation, I quit my cushy state job and decided I was going to move to Brazil to train and teach English. 

Fast forward to 2012 -- I left for Brazil again and then later moved back home to Kaua’i where I started training at a new academy. By this time, I had experienced training under multiple black belts in various places, but found stability in an academy that was more family oriented (although very much old school). When I received my blue belt later that year, I became even more committed to sharing the jiu-jitsu lifestyle and my experiences along the way. I was super involved in the academy. I began teaching the new beginner fundamentals class, started a women’s program, and held free women's self-defense seminars.  I also began networking with others in the community and committed to help organizations like Blackbelts for Butterflies and Mission 22 that use jiu-jitsu as the vehicle to bring awareness to autism and veteran suicide. 

Now that I have my purple belt, it has become clear to me that it has never been about medals, recognition, or being the best. Although those things are great, the real gratification comes from helping others and being able to share the things that I’ve worked hard for. So now, after hearing my story, ask yourself this: What kind of legacy do you want to leave on your jiu-jitsu journey or is it just about the destination?